"They're going to cut off my leg." Click.
I received this voicemail message while on a business trip to Tampa. In hindsight, I never should have been asked to get on that plane. A family member was recovering from a nasty infection. They were in the care of another family member while I was many hundreds of miles away. Things were looking up for this person, until I received that panicked phone message, heavy on emotion, thin on details. The infection had come back, or maybe it was a new one. Without antibiotics it would have moved an inch an hour. Antibiotics slowed the pace, but a foot amputation was required to save my loved one's life. They were to report for surgery first thing in the morning. I called the travel agent, desperate to get back in time - luckily, I was able to get on the last flight out of Tampa that night. I explained to my customer that I had a life-or-death situation on my hands and had to leave immediately. I provided the information he needed to finish running the joint test we were conducting, left my equipment behind and dashed to the airport. I've never been so terrified in my life.
Back at the office a few days later, one of my co-workers is giving me a rash of crap about an assignment that I had been given. He felt that the project should have been given to him as the more experienced engineer and made it clear that he felt my technical skills were inferior based on my gender. I'd like to think that if he knew what was going on in my personal life at the time, he might not have been so harsh. My boss was the only person at work who knew what was going on in my personal life at the time. The work environment was as toxic as it gets. If you're familiar with the concept of psychological safety, this was the exact opposite of that.
"Everyone has a story or a struggle that will break your heart. And, if we're really paying attention, most people have a story that will bring us to our knees."
- Brené Brown
As leaders, we have unimaginable impacts on the lives of our team members. Our interactions have rippling effects both inside and outside the workplace. It's an enormous honor and an incredible responsibility. I am eternally grateful to the supportive boss who was there for me when I needed it the most. Their behavior in that moment of crisis is an example of something I strive to emulate in my role as a leader. As for the folks in leadership who fostered the toxic workplace environment - I will always remember them as examples of how not to lead.
That interaction with my colleague is rarely far from my mind. Any time I get an unexpectedly sharp, negative or grumpy response from a colleague, I think back to that day. I don't know what's going on in that person's life, maybe they're going through a difficult bit of life or maybe not. It's a good reminder to respond with kindness.
In my corner of the world, most of us stumble into leadership and are left to figure it out along the way. I suspect this is not unusual. My first gig with direct reports didn't come with a manual. I was on my own to figure it out...for about 60 seconds. After my "Oh [insert expletive], what did I just get myself into?", moment of panic passed, I looked across the table at my good friend. Her team didn't come with a manual either, but at least we were in it together.
Early in my leadership journey it became clear to me that people are our most valuable resource. I'm passionate about putting people first whenever possible, which turns out to be most of the time. I want to be the reason people go home at night feeling included, knowing they are valued and excited to collaborate on whatever comes next.
I created this blog to share my observations, insights and wisdom with fellow leaders. Leadership is about continually learning and evaluating what works. I hope you'll join me on the adventure so I can learn from you as well. Together we can create a world of healthy work environments, where psychological safety exists and people aren't afraid to be vulnerable around their colleagues. Let's create teams where someone steps in and says, "Go be with your family. I'll cover the business trip for you.".
I've had the privilege of working on and leading such teams. When everyone is enabled to show up to work as their best selves, we can accomplish amazing things. In my experience, approaching leadership with a humans-first attitude and taking care of the people leads to better results for the organization we support than if we dismiss the people and focus on results first. Take care of the people - hire, grow and retain the right talent - and the business takes care of itself.
What is your work environment like? What actions can you take to make it a place where people feel safe to show up as their authentic self?
I'd love to hear from you. Please comment below or send me a note via the Connect section of the home page.
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