I am continually evaluating my leadership style and making tweaks to become the best leader I can for my team. One technique I use is to reflect on experiences I've had with my past leaders to identify which of their behaviors I wish to emulate or to avoid. As we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the US, it feels like an appropriate time to thank some of the leaders from whom I've learned.
Thank you to the leader who taught me what looking out for your employees looks
like.
I was accepting a job with a new employer that required me to come in person to sign the offer (technology was a bit different back then). I'd informed the hiring manager that I planned to negotiate for vacation time. They asked me to meet with them first on the day of the signing so they could coach me on what to say to HR to ensure my success. As we walked from their office to HR, the hiring manager confessed to me that they hadn't negotiated this for themself and that it was an oversight on their part. Rather than take the "I didn't get this so neither should anyone else" approach, they saw the value in helping their new employee get something better than they had gotten. This encounter reinforced that I had made the right decision to work for them.
Thank you to leaders who taught me about the importance of providing clear guidance to my team in the form of priority setting, especially when things are very busy.
One day, feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list, I presented my manager with the ten most urgent tasks and asked them which were the top three priorities. "All of them," they said. I left the conversation deflated, frustrated and lost. I also walked away knowing that it was a totally unacceptable answer.
Fast foward a few years. I was in a similar situation with a different manager. This person took the teachable moment approach and started to mentor me on how to set priorities as they browsed my list. About half-way through the list, they realized their teachable moment was moot. They said, "I'll get back to you," and walked over to their supervisor's office. This leader realized that my list was full of high priority tasks that even didn't have sufficient big picture context to prioritize. Half an hour later, they came back to me with the top 3 priorities, providing me the ability to focus and get the tasks completed in a timely fashion.
Thank you to the leader who taught me what feeling seen looks like.
I had been pursuing an internal opportunity that aligned with both my career goals and business needs - my manager at the time was opposed to me making the move, the manager with the opening and several adjacent leaders were in favor of me making the move. After weeks of internal discussions, the highest-ranking leader in the division dictated that I be denied the the new opportunity. A short time later I took a job at another company and when I told the HR leader the news, their response was, "Good for you!". Not the response one typically gets from HR when leaving a company, but this person had been privy to the situation and witnessed how office politics had dismissed me. Thank you for seeing me!
Thank you to the leaders who taught me what support looks like.
I was struggling with a manager who was holding me back and taking credit for my work, among other things. Then, I caught them in a lie that broke any hope of coming to a workable relationship. A leader familiar with the situation became a trusted confidant and helped me navigate the situation including providing guidance on how to elevate my concerns. That process provided a good learning experience but ultimately did not yield acceptable results. By that time, word of the situation had made the rounds of the leadership ranks and a different leader reached out to offer me a new role that provided the right level of stretch and a significant pay increase. With the support of these leaders, I was able to move on from the manager who was holding me back to a position that allowed me to grow while making impactful contributions.
What lessons have you learned about leadership from your past leaders? Have you thanked them lately? Is there something new you can incorporate into your leadership style? Is there a behavior you can consider eliminating to make you a better leader?
I'd love to hear from you. Please comment below or send me a note via the Connect section of the home page.
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