Got something little in your life that’s bothering you or niggling at you? If you ignore it, surely it will go away. Right? Much to my annoyance, this is usually not the case. The niggles get louder, and it takes increasingly more effort to drown them out. Sigh. I’ve had a small task that I’ve been putting off for longer than I care to admit. Periodically I’ll hear that little voice in my head, reminding me that I’m delinquent in giving it attention. I toss it aside and keep going on with my life…until it comes back. A couple of weeks ago, something happened to bring the issue to the forefront, and I stubbornly kept hoping it would go away.
Spoiler Alert: It did not go away.
This week I finally decided to do something about it. The first step was making a phone call. It took me less than 2 minutes (including having to call back because I got voice mail the first time). Two minutes. Turns out, addressing the problem was much easier than what I’d built it up to be in my head. How much time and energy did I expend putting it off and stressing about it? Many hours. Hours I could have spent in a much more pleasant head space.
Note to Self: Spare yourself the time and energy suck of putting things off. Address them and move on before they take on a life of their own.
In the spirit of being vulnerable, I'm compelled to share that this is not the first time I've written that particular note to self. Humaning is hard work!
Has anyone come to you with a problem that would have been way easier to solve if they'd brought it to you earlier? If not, it's just a matter of time. My first (internal) reaction is typically something along these lines: WHY didn't you tell me about this AGES ago?!? Last week/month/year it wouldn't have been a thing and now it a HUGE thing. Argh! Then I take a breath and remember that I am not immune to human nature and it's possible I've been on the other side of this kind of conversation once or twice in my life. It's also possible that HUGE is an overstatement, though I find that my mileage varies on that point.
One of our jobs as leaders is to actively listen to the person bringing us the information and help them work through the issue through mentoring, coaching or by removing roadblocks as appropriate. By keeping a level head, showing them grace, and treating them like the reasonable, well-intentioned person they are, you help them through the situation in the smoothest possible way. You also build trust with that person.
Speaking of trust...the more people trust you, the more likely they are to come to you with their challenges sooner. I don't know about you, but if someone yells and screams at me when I go to them for help, I'm going to avoid seek their brand of help in the future. On the flip side, if the response I get is levelheaded, compassionate and helpful in resolving the problem, I'm much more likely to go back to them in the future. I'm also more likely to seek their guidance long before the situation becomes a big problem. I know I'm not the only one.
On the other side of the coin, Leadership comes with its share opportunities for difficult conversations. Does putting it off make the conversation easier? Not in my experience. I find it's best to tackle those conversations and get them out of the way. A performance issue doesn't magically solve itself by waiting for it to go away. Bad news doesn't get any less bad if we put it off. In fact, in both cases there is the potential for things to get worse. Also, it turns out that by handling the little things as early as possible, we're setting a good example for our team.
Did you have an awkward interaction with someone, leading you to execute complex avoidance maneuvers in the hopes of not having another awkward interaction? Don’t see eye to eye with a family member, friend or colleague, so you keep your thoughts to yourself about something that could be a problem later? Feeling unsure about the priorities on your full plate? Expectations out of alignment? plagued by any number of “little things” I didn’t include on the list? Take action, speak up, seek clarification, reach out for help.
I’m giving myself space in life for something better by committing to addressing the little things I’ve been avoiding. Will you join me by making a similar commitment to yourself? What little things can you clear off your plate today?
I'd love to hear from you. Please comment below or send me a note via the Connect section of the home page.