"What do you do each day just for yourself?" ~ Facilitator in a leadership training session
Wait...what?!
I had been leading for years before I had access to leadership training. By then, I was leading leaders. I attended the leadership trainings to get an understanding of what was on offer so I could point each of the leaders on the team to the trainings that would be most beneficial for them. If I learned something new, I considered it a bonus.
As I worked my way through the offerings, a pattern emerged. Each training provided information that I'd learned the hard way, information that would have been very helpful years earlier. I was the experienced participant sharing antecdotes about how using the presented approaches/techniques led to success and how not using them backfired. The facilitator of the day made a comment that I could be the one delivering the training.
The day the facilitator asked what I did each day just for myself, I had no answer.
At the time, I was stuck in give mode both in my profesional and personal lives. But, I wasn't giving anything to myself...and it wasn't working for me.
This was the first time in my career that someone suggested I take a few minutes just to myself each day. The message had always been do more with less. The concept of taking an occasional pause was new to me.
Taking time for myself each day has been a game changer in many ways, including making me a better leader.
Asking yourself to take time just for you can feel like one more burden to add to the to-do list. It doesn't have to be. All it takes is the willingness to give it a try and a couple of minutes.
In the middle of writing this post, a friend send me a text declaring a dance break and a song. I took the dance break - three minutes, eleven seconds. Not only did I come back to writing with new energy, I saved myself three minutes and eleven seconds of doomscrolling - which is typically what happens when I get stuck in my head during the writing process. A dance party is way more fun and rejuvenating.
Not into the dance thing? (Yea, me neither, though I'm going to have to re-think that. ) Not to worry, taking a few minutes just for you looks different for everyone. Here are a few ideas:
- Make Art - Grab some paper and pencils/crayons, markers or paint. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes, put expectations aside and just start making marks on the paper without overthinking. It's the process that's important, not the final result. If this feels too out of the box, look up neurographic art. It's quick to learn and there are endless possibilities.
- Take a Walk - Get out and stretch your legs - without your phone. Walk around the building or the block. Give your brain permission to take a break. I find that just a few short minutes can have the effect of a complete reset. I return to what I'd been doing with a fresh perspective.
- Pause for Few Deep Breaths - Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus on the air moving into and out of your body. I resisted this technique for years - oh boy was I missing out.
- Anger and Frustration - The expression of anger and frustration can look similar. Loud, violent verbal outbursts compromise the feeling of safety for folks in the vicinity. It's more appropriate to
How do emotions show up in your workplace? Do you provide a safe space for your team members to express and process emotions?
I'd love to hear from you. Please comment below or send me a note via the Connect section of the home page.
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